Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

It’s Valentine’s Day–whether we like to admit it or not.  For some, it’s a day to go to the fanciest restaurant in town with their special somebody and eat chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert.

For others, it’s the most dreaded day of the year–“Singles Awareness Day,” as it’s been dubbed by many.  It’s a day to hole up in the living room with a stack of horror movies and a few pints of Ben & Jerry’s–anything to avoid being exposed to the red heart decorations and hand-holding couples that seem to fill every inch of public property.

Around this time of year, it seems like everyone either has someone or is frantically looking.  Even those who claim to be perfectly content in their singleness–they insist that V-Day is just a commercial holiday designed to sell us stuff we don’t need–can be caught posting a status about drinking away their troubles or going out to a bar for a hopeful look around at the other singles.

While everyone is plagued by the need to find that “special someone,” I’ve found that it poses a particularly difficult problem for those outside the heterosexual playing field.  While it’s impossible to get an exact number, most people estimate that only between 5 and 10 percent of the population is gay, so that cute girl or guy you see walking down the street is most likely straight.  Good news for straight people!

But for that other 10 percent, the prospect of asking a stranger out on a date is far more daunting.  We’re plagued by the same questions as everyone else:  What if I’m not her type? and What if he’s already in a relationship?

But on top of all that, we have to ask ourselves another question:  What if they’re not gay?

The chances of being rejected seem to multiply tenfold when you throw that question into the equation–not to mention the fear that revealing your sexuality might have dire consequences.  For many LGBT people living in more conservative areas, the fear of being “outed” is more than enough to keep them from asking anyone out on a date.

However, in this day and age, there are a million and one ways to meet new people: hotlines, online dating services, social networking sites, etc.

So, my question to you (as someone who is planning to spend V-Day commiserating with my equally single friend) is this:

What is the best way to meet that special someone?  How did you meet your girlfriend or boyfriend?  Have a love story (or a horror story)?  Just want to commiserate with me?  I want to hear it!

Be sure to vote in my poll or comment below!  Like this article?  Be sure to click “like” or share with your friends on facebook and twitter!

Photo compliments of “my life in cakea blog about cake.  Who doesn’t love that?


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Imagine that girl (or guy) you can’t stop thinking about:  cute. . . interesting. . . fun to talk to. . . no criminal record to speak of–and to top it all off, you checked her (his) relationship status on facebook and it says “single!”  Could it be any more perfect?

You try to work up your nerve.  You write a text message.  You backspace.  You rewrite it.  You start to press “send.”  Then you delete it again.  You dial their number, then close your phone.  You twist yourself into such a knot over it, and then finally just ask them out, only to hear the fatal words:

“I’m sorry, but I like someone else.  I just wanna see where it goes.”

Oh, sure, they try to make you feel better by saying how cute and sweet you are or how they’re sure you’ll find someone else soon–but we all know that it really doesn’t make you feel any better.  The bottom line is that you just got shot down–again.

“I wanna see where it goes.”  It’s all well and good to wonder where your heart will take you.  Who knows?  It could be great–or maybe that special someone doesn’t even know you exist.

But what about the person who just worked up the nerve to spill their guts?  Maybe they’re not what you had in mind. . . but at least you know they’re interested, right?  Does anyone ever stop to consider what might happen if they just forget about that other girl they’ve been chasing for months and say “yes” to the person who isn’t running away?

It seems like people are always complaining about being single, but if we’re all tired of being single, why do we keep turning each other down?  Are we just too picky?  Or just too wrapped up in our own romantic fantasies?

Please tell me about your experiences!  Ever felt this way?  Who do you think it’s tougher for?  Men or women, gay or straight?  I wanna know your thoughts!  Please comment and/or subscribe!

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