Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Yup, believe it or not, I actually study. . . sometimes.

I have only one huge paper (which should have been done about a month ago) and one final exam left to go until I’m finally done college! 

I haven’t been posting as regularly as I’d like, but I have a valid excuse!  Such as my Multimedia final project and my final video project for Broadcast!  Not too mention I sprained (or maybe broke?) my foot and have been limping from place to place with an ace bandage. 
I’m also desperately trying to find an apartment AND a job!  Looking into waitressing.  My study abroad  put me a little behind on the internship department, so job opportunities in media are looking pretty bleak at the moment, at least until I can get an internship or two under my belt.  We’ll see.  Suggestions anyone?  =/
Also trying to balance my family.  For some reason, my mom still reeeeally likes me after all these years of being a pain in her butt, and she wants me to come home.  She’s not too keen on my staying in Jersey City after graduation–but I gotta leave sooner or later, right?
So, stay tuned!  Two days until I’m done all my classes, another week to search for an apartment and a job before Commencement, and from there, I’ll let you know what happens.  Hopefully I’ll have more time to post; I have a few ideas on what to write next. . . (How to tell if you’re gay, adventures of a starving college graduate, etc.)
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Photo taken by my good friend Mio Tatebe.

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Someone recently asked me about my “coming out” story.  I don’t talk about it much because. . . well. . . it’s just not that exciting.  Even my sister’s coming out story is more interesting than mine!

Hell, to be honest, I wasn’t even that nervous about coming out–except to my mom. 

I knew she’d still love me. . . but she had been asking me for years if I liked girls. . . and I always told her “No, I don’t think so” or “Nope, no girl fantasies for me.”

And it was true!  I had never had any interest girls. . . but I hadn’t had any interest in guys either.  Naturally, she was wondering. 

FINALLY, in May of my junior year of high school, it happened–my first real crush on a girl.  I knew I had to tell my mom the truth.

So that Saturday, my mom and I were in her Mustang and she was driving me to my lame part-time job at the public library.  About two minutes into the drive (it only took five to get to the library from home), I finally got up the courage to say something.



“I like Kim.”

“Like. . . what?”  She looked confused.

“I like Kim.  A lot.”  I tried to sound casual.

“Like. . . as a friend?  Or like you wanna date her?”

“I’m going out with her.”

“So. . . you’re gay?”  She put on her turn signal.

“I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?  You like girls, right?” 

“No.  I like Kim.  Beyond that, I don’t know.” 

“You picked now to tell me?” she asked, as we pulled up to the library and she put the parking break on.

“. . . . Yes?”

She gave me a look and shook her head. 

“I love you,” she said, and leaned over to give me a hug.  “Have a good day at work.”

“Love you, too!”  I hugged her and got out of the car. 

That was in 2006, and to this day, she still makes fun of me for coming out the day before Mother’s Day.

“What kind of a Mother’s Day present is that?!”

I’d like to thank my mom for raising me to be such a confident, well-adjusted kid.  I’m nothing compared to some of the other crazies at my college.  =P 

Pretty sure my mom must have one of those in her closet somewhere. . .
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So. . . while I was home visiting my family for Easter, my mom asked me this question:

If you found out that there was a drug you could take that would make you straight, would you take it?

I didn’t even hesitate to tell her “No.”

And she was surprised that I wouldn’t want to be straight if I could be.

Ever since I first realized that I was a lesbian and came out, it’s been such an integral part of my life.  While it’s far from being the only important factor in defining who I am, it is still a major part of who I consider myself to be and how I think about myself.  It has affected the decisions I’ve made, the way I have viewed the world, and the person I have become.   

To put it quite simply. . . I can no longer even imagine life as a straight woman.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who would just love to find a miracle “cure” for “the gay”–probably the same people who send their kids to “ex-gay camps” to turn them straight.   

For the same reason I’d never go to one of those camps or programs, I would never want to take a drug or hormone therapy to change my orientation.  There is nothing wrong with me the way I am, and I am perfectly happy being me. 

Pretty well adjusted for a gay kid, huh? 

“Baby, I was born this way.” —Lady Gaga


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Edith Windsor and her wife, Thea Spyer, were together for more than 40 years, and married for their final two years together–until Thea died from multiple-sclerosis in 2009.

Now, Edith is heading the fight to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which unfairly defines marriage as being between a man and a woman under federal law.

Because of DOMA, Edith was forced to pay more than $360,000 in federal estate taxes on her inheritance from her late wife.  As of November 2010, she is filing a lawsuit against the United States of America for a refund of the tax.

This week, the Republicans in the House of Representatives decided to fund the defense of DOMA using taxpayers’ dollars, despite the fact that President Obama and his administration have already stated that they will no longer defend the constitutionality of DOMA.

MY GOAL, in the next few weeks is to somehow manage to interview Edith Windsor on her case.  I was able to speak to her on the phone, but was told that she couldn’t do an interview without her lawyers or PR people present. . . so now I’m trying to sift through all the legal mumbo-jumbo and secretaries at Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP to see if I can get my interview!

Wish me luck!  =P

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It’s official.  My younger sister is a lesbian, too–and I’m just not sure how to feel about it.

Ever since I came out at age 16, my family has always been supportive of me–and I knew they would be, so I never felt any pressure to hide anything.  I know I’ve been lucky to have so much love and support, and I know that my sister can expect the same love and support from me and the rest of our family.

So why did she wait so long to come out of the closet?

You’d think that after seeing me come out and how accepting everyone was, my sister would have felt safe coming out to us–or at least to me.

Apparently, we thought wrong.  She says that even after she knew she was gay (at least a couple years ago), she didn’t want to come out because she didn’t want to upset anyone or cause stress to the family.  She’s 19 years old, and just now coming out to the rest of us. 

This got me thinking:  Why do so many people choose to stay in the closet?  Even in a time where it’s become widely accepted? 

Of course there are the standard reasons: unaccepting families, conservative belief systems, religious persecution, etc., but what are some of the reasons that may be overlooked? 

Comment and let me know what you think.  Like this article?  Be sure to click “like” or share with your friends on facebook and twitter!

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